I've got less then a minute...

...and a thousand words to say, so I'll just make a short note:
We always wish for stuff that proves things, a kiss for love; a wedding ring for a life together; an exam, a good grade and a work-offer for having studied well... But actually, all that stuff doesn't matter. It's still so minimal that it's unseen and not existing. Still: love matters, truth matters, having fun matters, being interested in stuff and finding out things you didn't know -- it all matters! Matters for real

Showtime! -- movies

Heyy! I'm lying in my bed, watching the MTV movie-awards and though I'd post some movies that I want to watch, here you go:

partaaajjj uNts uNts uNts

Good evening, fellas! ha ha... strange how things always turn out great. Maybe it's we who make whatever comes great?
I'm in a travel mood, 'planked' the train to Vikingstad, ten minutes away, and were out there kind of random - nice city and nice people!

Well: these two pictures are on two of my party-outfits ha ha... Wondering which one I ought to take next friday? ^^
The one to the right is kind of more 'whory' ha ha ha but it looks nicer.

& I hope I might give you a smile or a laugh because of this picture ha ha!

I haven't drunk any coca cola since we were at that kebab place, 23rd or something like that... Bought one today in Vikingstad really cheap from a very nice guy from Serbia - I've so missed the taste!

Love, peace & miss you guys

know what? it's still me!

hey there beautiful on the way to wonderful

It's raining down on Linköping city,, strange how life is always changing. Wonder where it's heading! Today I really felt that I actually could make it go wherever I wanted.. Life's full of possibilities, but so many people live without seeing anything else but the road ahead, when it's actually a sky and every direction is a wonderful adventure, and not a one-way road..

The song of this moment:

Go out there and go and try.
Believin' that you're the one, they're dying to see
So keep your dream alive,
Dreaming is still how the strong survive

A Dream Is A Whisper From Your Heart

It's kind of creepy when you realize that you have a flaw in something you thought you were good at. When you thought that you were not like the rest of your family, the genetic path hadn't brought that to you. When you believed you were different. You've tricked yourself. Well, that doesn't really matter does it? ha ha! What matters is that now you know, and can work with it. It's probably all been for the best, there are always new things you've got to deal with in yourself. So today I'm happy, I am going to make a change!
      What I thought I already got, but now I'll get it so don't you worry, is the ability to make a decision. In some ways, I've never had the guts to do that. Hell with that, I am not a coward! And I won't be. And I will make every fucking decision that I ought to make, I'll trust in myself that I can make it right, and trust in my luck and my life that everything's going to turn out great. If anything might come up, I'll deal with it when it comes, not worrying about it beforehand. Well -- that last thing I already got in my heart, but the decision-thing.. it's so going to change!

Love

Maria

And Yet Another World Lies Within

Just because someone really is alike someone else you know, remember that he's another person, who's got something completely different inside & don't hinder that showing itself by expecting something else or thinking you know what you'll find.

When I started walking in yet another world, I was searching for laughter, because I already had happiness. What I found was people, for whom the day is just a smile and the night should be laughed through. 

Midnight

I can't sleep. Just can not, impossible. I lie down, think a bit, like an hour or so and then realize... I don't want to sleep. And if I don't want to do it, then there's no use for me to do it! So here's what I look liken the middle of the night wearing my satin-like hello kitty-pajamas that's really cute but hardly seen here, ha ha!




Tomorrow, I'll remind myself to really be who I want to and with whom I want to. Nothing, not even my own boredom is going to stop me! But today, and yesterday, were really great days I must say! Right now, in the middle of the night, I'm kind of...I don't know really. In a strange mood. I miss so much, and yet I'm glad with what I have, and I'm looking forward to things... Not really sure! However, I have a photo of some - definitely not all - of my precious memories that I'd like to share with you.

Some of my precious memories: a golden leaf, a small cone, a huge nail, a bean, a stone, some crystal quartz and a toy-coin called 'a token of my love'.

This makes me smile! Allrighty, here we go... The coin is from Florida, we got a couple of those on Valentine's Day in school prep. grade. Or at least, I got them. The tradition is that on a table there are paper candy-bags with the name of everyone on it, and you have things with you (don't remember if we get it there in school, however it's small things but mostly candy, and really really tasty candy!) and then you go round the table and give every person some. Sweet, isn't it? It's the only thing that I got from Florida, except some photos and a mini-scapbook, of course mother has some stuff but this heart is the only thing that I'd like to keep as memory from that time. 

      The crystal quartz and the cone are from the same place... One spring, when we lived in Luleå, my family, a colleague of my father and his daughter (the same age as me) went to the border line between Sweden and Norway, up north, into the mountains. It must have been year 2002, or 2003. Those we went with were finnish, and the girl and I became really good friends without having one word in common. She spoke finnish, I spoke russian...but it all worked out really well! I remember that feeling, when you perfectly understand the other one and even stronger the feeling that it doesn't matter. It doesn't really matter exactly what you say, it's all about having a wonderful time, but even more you don't matter. It's about everything around you. I use to say this week(s) are the best time of my life. I didn't have a bad or selfish thought, and even though I often had tantrums as a child - there, it was like all gone with the wind. And it was beautiful. I know, more then remember, that the air was clear and so easy to breath. 

      And then there was this small fjord... I swear - it was, and still is, magical. The sun was shining, and it was a warm day to compare with the temperature there. We walked through a valley, and before that there was some kind of stream... We turned in behind a rock, and at first I didn't see it. I suppose someone mentioned it, but it was me who got really enchanted by it... And then, looking forward instead of everywhere but that, I see a small lake all glittering. Sparkling, shining. The fjord was covered by a thin layer of ice, and it was really really thin, and the ice sparkled in the sun. We have no good photo of the magic, I suppose it doesn't go on camera. I could never find the place after that one time, but when the time is right I'll go there again, and find it.

      Both the crystal quartz and the cone I picked up somewhere up those mountains. And then there's the nail. It's a lucky one, well, at least it must be lucky to be here and valued! I've got no actual idea of how it came into my possession, but it's unusually big, and somehow I found it in my pocket or my shoe one day in school. This was back the last year, on Krono.

      The bean is from a country I haven't been in -- Great Britain. It's a gift from Annie, and is for me a symbol of how different friendship can be. On one side, there's a smiling face, and on the other side there's the text Best Friends.

      Next is the stone, a beautiful one, from Linnèa. She brought some stones with her from France this summer, and gave some of them to me. It stands for patience, peace, and a smiling friendship! Don't think I have to say more.. Then there's one thing left -- the leaf. It doesn't have a story yet, and it doesn't really stick with the rest of the stuff, because it isn't a memory. It's the present, been picked up here in Linköping. What story it will bring to my collection, I do not know. But I'm sure it's going to be a story worthwhile.