snow -- now it's a week to x-mas

 Heey there! I'm not at all sure of who actually reads this blog, and in some way I hope it's only my three best friends.. haha, but I mean, it's the net, so it can be whoever.. I'm sitting in my bed, chilling with christmas music and thinking about all sort of stuff.. There's a lot of things to do but I've slept one and a half hour tonight so after cleaning some and helping out at home I decided to take it chill a while before I try some stuff with my new haircut, paint some, write some stuff and fix my blue jacket... If you wanna know hahaha! & also I just totally have to make a christmas playlist!! Really really... Yesterday I was at beccas place, hanging out all night with the girls, it was so fun!

Also, I have decided to start a serious blog. A blog I want people to read, just because I want to make a difference. It will be in swedish, though I don't think this blog will die for that, for me it's just a place to write down my thoughts when they don't have enough room in my head hah.

Wonderful winter to all of you,

Whodoyouthinkitis!?

The gang @ my place in August 2011

Ahahhhahahhahahahhahaha! Seriously: Jag älskar er tjejer! & saknar er som in i helvete...

Emotions for the worrrrrld!

Hahaha.. this is quite hilarious. While I was doing some research for a school-project in swedish, I found the solution to what I dislike in myself sometimes. Both the reason, and the solution! & I wanted to share and also remember it myself he he..

Having emotions. You know how people have totally blank faces while texting, watching TV or browsing the net? And at times, when you're tired or unsure, you don't show your emotions either, you don't even have any! It's like my father always saying that it's kind of useless to read a book or watch a movie if you don't ever discuss it or think it over - cause if you just live it through, you don't learn anything. That's why I always get so pissed of when I'm on the computer, or watch TV too long. It bores me, I get frustrated, I don't react normally I just go on like some kind of monkey... So, be emotional!!

Everything that's hard and tough makes you stronger.

Those who really mean a lot in your life, they are those who make you feel so emotional.

& Love is the strongest emotion of all,

the one that's got most power!

L O V E

--Maria

Life goes on

Vem har tänt den stjärna, som speglas i ditt öga..
Är du jordens dolda skatt?
Är det själva himlen som jag håller i min famn?

Well... the reason I started this post was because there's been one hour of today that I was thinking over way to many times. But the thing is that now that I'm writing, I've lost the need to express that - instead I've found things that I really want to say.

You have to know someone to really love them, because you love people for their mistakes and bad sides, not for the good ones. That's the reason why imperfection is beauty.


In over a month now I've woken up every morning thinking that today's the day that it's going to snow. But nah, it's the first of December on thursday and still there hasn't been any snow in Linköping... On the other hand, at my brothers place, in Luleå they had their first snow yesterday! Skylight gypsy as I am, I'm in love with this winter weather even though there ain't any snow. There's frost in the fresh air, it's been really windy some days now and though it's so cold, it's beautiful when the trees bow to the wind and then stand high and tall seconds later..

I wonder what shyness actually is. And I wonder if I am shy? I don't think so... I've been shy, and sometimes I get thrown back into it, but I'm not shy now I think... Want to know one of my bad sides?
I don't really accept the past. I stand for what I've done in a way, but I always think (and say) that what happened was weeks ago, it's not the same now, I've changed... I really mean it! I see the past as something...bad. Not that I've got so many bad memories, but my memory isn't so good ha ha.. No, seriously, it's more that I don't like what happened before. I don't appreciate it. Not at all!

Let me explain. It's like I can't see the past clearly. I remember how I though about things. I've learned a lot from what I've done, I even remember myself when I was really really small. I remember how I learned to walk! Honestly. But I don't like it. I can smile and I can laugh at memories, but I don't see the meaning in them. I don't love them, I'm not happy for them. I'm glad that they've made me for who I am today, but I want to change that me all the time you know?

@-->->-----

Trust your instincts, but believe the truth.

Don't think about it, just do it - think about the stuff you don't do.

The only way to escape your fears is to face them.

-----<-<--@

There are a lot of people that have such a big place in my heart that are having a really tough time right now. And I mean it, a lot. I'm not going to write that it's sad. I'm only going to say that I love you all. And I hope with all my heart that things will turn out great for you. That the sun behind the clouds will come soon! Those who can do something about it, I know that you'll be able to do it. Those who can't, I know life will turn out just as it ought to. There's no use for me to say that I'm here for you - you already know that. I'm just going to wish you luck and say that it's all right to have bad times. 

Just keep trying. Keep wanting.

Keep believing.

Goodnight!

"When I fall in love it will be forever"

 What do you do when you've suddenly realized that you've hurt someone completely unintentionally? If you just know deep inside yourself that you love someone, and some days later you understand that someone loves you back -- and then you don't talk to the person that day and you can see how he isn't happy for it. But you realize that after really being able to do something about it.
    At the same time, you see that if you go on saying things the way you do, not thinking about how to say them, and then your voice becomes meaningful for people around you that don't actually know you so good that they know that you really really like them for who they are - and you start hurting people's feelings. That's not okay, that's something one has to change.
     Now think of that 'you' as me. Because that's the situation I'm in right now, and I have to admit that I kinda like it... Well, no, don't get me wrong -- I do not like hurting people's feelings. But it's nice in a way to have your voice heard. It's nice to be loved. It's wonderful to be loved. Although, when you have something you've got something you can loose, so you have to remember to still give all. You've gotta know that you can die any moment, there's no use being afraid.
     My next moves in life right now is: chill, don't be so hyper, so that the things I say don't hurt others and keep up facing my fears! Because that's the way you make your fears disappear..

Love,

Maria

If you want your wishes to come true, you've gotta wish the right wish...

Some random thoughts

Hey there, I was just thinking of some things... You know how people often complain on how the new generation, and the time we're in right now, is completely idiotic with low moral & such stuff? It seems that it has always been a problem for the society. And you know how things like Facebook & such are all a messed up version of our lives, it's an over-make-uped version of the face we show the world -- there has always been something somewhat devilish like that among people.
    Because we're in on this about Facebook, I'd like to note that it's so extremely easy to display the things you do every day so that they look like you are the one that has the best life. Because that's what Facebook is, a place were you compare lives. And have you ever thought of how worseless the whole idea of ''having a life'' and not being a no-lifer is? I mean, what's having a life in partying, or traveling or whatever it may be? Everyone's got a life, and a day out in the sun or reading a book that changes how you see things isn't worse any less then being out friday nights. Life is about learning stuff, about getting better then you were. You can do that whatever you do, actually. And documenting your life by bragging about it to others doesn't have a shit to do with living.
     & however, it's hilariously easy to show your life as much more fun then it is. No need to believe Facebook.. why I use it? Well...not sure actually ha ha. I suppose it's the stalker in me who wants to know what's going on, and the social freak in me who likes to socialize and doesn't care if it's for real or over the net. But there is one change I'd like to have in my life that has to do with this -- I want to live so much more in the real world! An hour that you throw away for internet I want to replace by an hour of hanging out with someone, or reading a great book, or being out.. Now that it's cold outside I've kind of stopped being out as randomly as usual.. And I feel that way down to my knees, I'm just so much more irritated and I feel that I'm missing something, like when you haven't slept for a while. Hah, well, it's just to go do something about it!

Love to you all,
Maria

Secrets are like raindrops dripping their own melody

When you've had a wonderful time, after have accomplished things you never thought you could, there comes times when you just know - today is not a good day, everything's just fucked up. It's then, when you truly need your friends. Because everyone else only see you for who you are when you have a good day, but only true friends see you as you when you're having tough luck.

I haven't written here for a very long time, and I have two things left that I wanna share with you guys:

At times you have to do all those things that you can't just because you can't. But if you really try, you'll make it. I promise.

& it's scary how easy it is to be a bitch, especially for someone like me. That's definitely no excuse, it only means that I have to try harder not to hurt everyone, on the other hand you can't go through life being constantly afraid of hurting others. If you wanna be with me, baby there's a price to pay I'm a genie in a bottle - you've gotta love me the right way.

Life Is Like A Roller-coaster
Sometimes it goes up. sometimes it goes down, the trick is to enjoy the ride!

When it feels like everything's going to brake down - there'll always be someone to help you.

Wherever you are, whoever you are.

Whazzuuuuup, maaan!?=D

I've realized something about myself... I'm a crazy bitch, I do what I want when I feel like it. Yeah, it's a quote from Avril Lavigne's smile, but that's really true. & I'm one of the two most random people in my class haha! That's something to celebrate!
     Life's like a roller coaster, it's up and it's down and it's great and it's terrible. Linnèa said something brilliant today: "I think paradise is when a small group of people fight together for survival..." And life's a fight, so we live in paradise, don't we? ;-) A fight, when you try your hardest for whateveritmaybe - that's simply beautiful. Simply wonderful.

Your crazy bitch

P.S. Tomorrow there's probably gonna be a really long post with pictures & life & laughs! So look forward to it ;-) ha ha, or I think there's gonna be such a post..

Wonderful day

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high
There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow...
...skies are blue

There aint much that can compare with this classic, it's gorgeous, simply gorgeous! Today has been a beautiful day, a wonderful day.. I'm lucky today. I've tried to explain it but with no success... It's like I've got a friend in every person I talk to. Wherever I turn, there's someone smiling. Someone who's waiting for me, who wants to see me laugh. And people are happy, too! Marvelous!
There hasn't been anything in particular, more... allover. Altogether, you know? And it really is true - boys aren't different to girls, even though they act different. It's kinda lucky to be with boys however! Your life becomes easier then. There's just one thing for tomorrow, except living -- make others happy! Because I can, and if I do have that power, I simply have an obligation to use it, ha ha!
So, now I'm just gonna watch some music videos and then I'm off to bed for a good night's sleep, hope that this post isn't too egocentric...ha ha

L O V E

Life can be hard sometimes

Life can be hard at some times, that's just how it is. But whatever happens, I know that I've got friends that'll be there for me. Even when I don't see you, and at times when the phone's not ringing... I know they'll be there for me.

To be honest: I miss the feeling of being in love. In love. When you wake up and the first thing you think of is him, when you wait for him to come, when the whole world spins when you see him smile, when you lie awake thinking of what you ever did wrong, when you see bad things happening to him and you just wish you hadn't existed to see it. I miss be hopelessly devoted to someone.
       And friendship, that's love too, but different... I miss getting happy by just seeing someone. That feeling is so far away right now that I can't even really imagine it.

For the record - I did well today. I was really really tired, dead-tired, but I never acted tired, never complained. Everything I did, I don't regret. It was perfect! Still, there is always someone else that can destroy something, just by being tired, and - I can't believe I'm saying this - bad-behaved. Without meaning it people make each other need each other, and then they don't live up to the expectations. But it doesn't matter. Today is not over, today is forever. Today is eternity.


Even that feeling, I miss it, because it's beautiful!

Every story has two sides

The party monday night was great, kind of messy but to be honest: it was nice. And it only got better and better, and it actually led me to realize what I think about the people who where there.. So it was simply wonderful! But there are two sides of every story... the dark side of this one, is lies. Well-- it was worth it, and I don't regret it and it's not the first or the last time I'm doing this. Lying to ones parents? I mean come on, that's usual! And no, I'm not even feeling guilty! It's just that I realize that I have to make it up to them, and I'm not doing that right now. If I'm going to lie when I have to, then all the other time I have to make them happy.

This thing with starting to be honest and stop lying... It's not really working. Not that I've lied so much in school, don't think I have said something big or so, but I know some wrong stuff have slipped of my tongue so to say.. Not intentionally, and I think I've fixed most of them. However, that's how I am. Not really proud of it, but not ashamed either. That's how life goes at times, the important thing is to make the world a better place. Making people happier.

Don't misunderstand me, I don't lie a lot. I just do it sometimes! I've never lied to hurt someone, too. And another thing: I'm not depressed or sad right now, I'm not really very happy either because I'm thinking about this shit but I know it's gonna be fine. It's going to be great! 

L O V E

Maria

Autumn night

Memories of summertimes

Summer is wonderful thing. I miss the way you feel when your skin is all golden, miss the hot days, miss the way your head starts spinning because of the heat, miss the million ice-creams that never taste the same any other time, miss hanging with folks all the time. 

       Outside the wind is blowing, and I think it rained a bit earlier too. The air is clear, and cold. Autumn is here, in all its beauty. It really is beautiful, the dark red leaves on some trees, others still green, or with a orange fire licking the green leaves.. The raindrops in their total perfection. The sky in it's different shades... Gorgeous!

It's almost midnight, and even though I was dead-tired at seven p.m. -- now I just can't sleep! Although, while I write this, I feel sleep coming over me as the rain is starting to pour. Autumn is nightlife time, with disco's and parties, and it's just on the edge of beginning so hold on tight!

Life is like a thunderstorm: you can either be afraid of it or you can see the beauty

Goodnight!
Yours eternally,

Maria

 

You've got to relax. Think about nothing! I still don't relax totally, huh, weird... Gonna post some photos later, bye!

nej nej nej nej

Helvete. Eller, det var helvete, nu är det 'shit fan.. äh: TAGGA'. Vi sitter och kollar på film, och min morsa säger något halvskämt om att jag har celluliter. Mina tankar stannar. Automatiskt säger jag nej, klart jag inte har, och jag tycker fortfarande att det är klart jag inte har det...Men om hon tar fel på mina otränade muskler, så måste jag göra något åt min absoluta oträning. I ca tio minuter var jag inne i en livskris, jag satt och tecknade & pluggade franska verb så jag vänder på pappret och gör det till dagbok. Seriöst, ofta är bästa personen man kan vända sig till sig själv! När dem tio minuterna har gått lyser solen igen, I've got it. Det är helt logiskt! Jag har drömt om det innan, men vetat att det inte var för då. Men nu är tiden inne. Jag ska lära mig hip hop, på riktigt. Inte sådär halvt, utan totalt, med egna moves & ståpåhändergrejer och hela alltet. Träning börjar imorgon, men faaaaan vad det ska bli kul! Har velat detta så länge nu...

Allright, jag vet, det här inlägget är... illa. Det är sådär segt och jobbigt och utan sanna ord som beskriver verkliga känslor och på fel språk också, ha ha.. Men det här inlägget får vara såhär. Alla människor har dåliga dagar, en blogg kan väl få ha dåliga inlägg?

Nighty!
Maria

Shit -- I really miss our times.

It's been a beautiful day,

There's not much else I can say

hah it rhymed! Ciao =D

H A I R C U T

Allrighty! I've got myself a haircut todayyy! Met a really nice hairdresser, from Småland ha ha, with Rihanna-like cool hair...

Today's a sunny but rather cold day, and life's still a miracle because I'm really happy today (L)

Enough with the chit-chat, here's my new haircut! & if you don't see any difference, look at the previous pictures...

The pics are kinda flum, & not really good but my hair is today's photo-model!

Miss you guys, have the best friidadadayyyy ever!

.sex.

Sex. One word that people of some reason think about so much. Like someone once said: "well, it's true -- guys think of it every other second." That's how it is, and I can't say girls don't ha ha! However, there are always endless issues about it! Don't know why... Folk are worried about when and how to lose their virginity, worried about being the first one or the last. People want to be loved, and to love, but somehow this stage of love in the society (not in relationships but in others eyes) is made so complicated!
      People judge others to act slutty, and even in our modern society there are those who don't like others to do it. Sometimes they don't show it at all, sometimes there are jokes made, sometimes gossip. If you do it, there always is someone who will judge you - if you don't there always is someone else who will. One can choose by which group of people they like most, but personally I think both are kind of gross. Because it is gross to judge someone on the grounds of making love. I mean, the expression explains itself. make love It means loving someone and making their love, sometime you want to and need to, and sometime you don't need it at all! And about the one-night-stand thing: I believe you can love by making love. It's just another way of loving!
      I'm not sure I know the truth, but I really believe that people act way too much like shit because of what others do! And the thing is that it's about something so pure and true - and of course private - that it's ridiculous to have any opinion at all about it.

Don't judge others, if nothing else - it's simply not your business.

No Strings Attached

You know what? The movie is wonderful, and so much better then I thought... ;-)

Online for free with the best quality, you'll find it here:

http://www.putlocker.com/file/B4C939934C637A50#


Just a note to things that happen in my world, and not on tape... You've got to learn to know people! And it's so interesting to find out new things about folks, and the guy you'd like to get friendly with at the moment should be the one you're most curious about.
Also: when horrible things happen, there isn't much you can do about it. It's a part of life, a part of eternity, but it's actually a part that doesn't matter much -- remember that.

Love to you all!

Maria

When I Fall In Love

Somewhere inside you there's a knowledge of what will happen and what you've got to do. It doesn't have a voice, and if you speak to loudly you'll never even notice, that somewhere down deep... you already know. & you can make a change.

Deep Below You'll Find Your Truth

I've got less then a minute...

...and a thousand words to say, so I'll just make a short note:
We always wish for stuff that proves things, a kiss for love; a wedding ring for a life together; an exam, a good grade and a work-offer for having studied well... But actually, all that stuff doesn't matter. It's still so minimal that it's unseen and not existing. Still: love matters, truth matters, having fun matters, being interested in stuff and finding out things you didn't know -- it all matters! Matters for real

Showtime! -- movies

Heyy! I'm lying in my bed, watching the MTV movie-awards and though I'd post some movies that I want to watch, here you go:

partaaajjj uNts uNts uNts

Good evening, fellas! ha ha... strange how things always turn out great. Maybe it's we who make whatever comes great?
I'm in a travel mood, 'planked' the train to Vikingstad, ten minutes away, and were out there kind of random - nice city and nice people!

Well: these two pictures are on two of my party-outfits ha ha... Wondering which one I ought to take next friday? ^^
The one to the right is kind of more 'whory' ha ha ha but it looks nicer.

& I hope I might give you a smile or a laugh because of this picture ha ha!

I haven't drunk any coca cola since we were at that kebab place, 23rd or something like that... Bought one today in Vikingstad really cheap from a very nice guy from Serbia - I've so missed the taste!

Love, peace & miss you guys

know what? it's still me!

hey there beautiful on the way to wonderful

It's raining down on Linköping city,, strange how life is always changing. Wonder where it's heading! Today I really felt that I actually could make it go wherever I wanted.. Life's full of possibilities, but so many people live without seeing anything else but the road ahead, when it's actually a sky and every direction is a wonderful adventure, and not a one-way road..

The song of this moment:

Go out there and go and try.
Believin' that you're the one, they're dying to see
So keep your dream alive,
Dreaming is still how the strong survive

A Dream Is A Whisper From Your Heart

It's kind of creepy when you realize that you have a flaw in something you thought you were good at. When you thought that you were not like the rest of your family, the genetic path hadn't brought that to you. When you believed you were different. You've tricked yourself. Well, that doesn't really matter does it? ha ha! What matters is that now you know, and can work with it. It's probably all been for the best, there are always new things you've got to deal with in yourself. So today I'm happy, I am going to make a change!
      What I thought I already got, but now I'll get it so don't you worry, is the ability to make a decision. In some ways, I've never had the guts to do that. Hell with that, I am not a coward! And I won't be. And I will make every fucking decision that I ought to make, I'll trust in myself that I can make it right, and trust in my luck and my life that everything's going to turn out great. If anything might come up, I'll deal with it when it comes, not worrying about it beforehand. Well -- that last thing I already got in my heart, but the decision-thing.. it's so going to change!

Love

Maria

And Yet Another World Lies Within

Just because someone really is alike someone else you know, remember that he's another person, who's got something completely different inside & don't hinder that showing itself by expecting something else or thinking you know what you'll find.

When I started walking in yet another world, I was searching for laughter, because I already had happiness. What I found was people, for whom the day is just a smile and the night should be laughed through. 

Midnight

I can't sleep. Just can not, impossible. I lie down, think a bit, like an hour or so and then realize... I don't want to sleep. And if I don't want to do it, then there's no use for me to do it! So here's what I look liken the middle of the night wearing my satin-like hello kitty-pajamas that's really cute but hardly seen here, ha ha!




Tomorrow, I'll remind myself to really be who I want to and with whom I want to. Nothing, not even my own boredom is going to stop me! But today, and yesterday, were really great days I must say! Right now, in the middle of the night, I'm kind of...I don't know really. In a strange mood. I miss so much, and yet I'm glad with what I have, and I'm looking forward to things... Not really sure! However, I have a photo of some - definitely not all - of my precious memories that I'd like to share with you.

Some of my precious memories: a golden leaf, a small cone, a huge nail, a bean, a stone, some crystal quartz and a toy-coin called 'a token of my love'.

This makes me smile! Allrighty, here we go... The coin is from Florida, we got a couple of those on Valentine's Day in school prep. grade. Or at least, I got them. The tradition is that on a table there are paper candy-bags with the name of everyone on it, and you have things with you (don't remember if we get it there in school, however it's small things but mostly candy, and really really tasty candy!) and then you go round the table and give every person some. Sweet, isn't it? It's the only thing that I got from Florida, except some photos and a mini-scapbook, of course mother has some stuff but this heart is the only thing that I'd like to keep as memory from that time. 

      The crystal quartz and the cone are from the same place... One spring, when we lived in Luleå, my family, a colleague of my father and his daughter (the same age as me) went to the border line between Sweden and Norway, up north, into the mountains. It must have been year 2002, or 2003. Those we went with were finnish, and the girl and I became really good friends without having one word in common. She spoke finnish, I spoke russian...but it all worked out really well! I remember that feeling, when you perfectly understand the other one and even stronger the feeling that it doesn't matter. It doesn't really matter exactly what you say, it's all about having a wonderful time, but even more you don't matter. It's about everything around you. I use to say this week(s) are the best time of my life. I didn't have a bad or selfish thought, and even though I often had tantrums as a child - there, it was like all gone with the wind. And it was beautiful. I know, more then remember, that the air was clear and so easy to breath. 

      And then there was this small fjord... I swear - it was, and still is, magical. The sun was shining, and it was a warm day to compare with the temperature there. We walked through a valley, and before that there was some kind of stream... We turned in behind a rock, and at first I didn't see it. I suppose someone mentioned it, but it was me who got really enchanted by it... And then, looking forward instead of everywhere but that, I see a small lake all glittering. Sparkling, shining. The fjord was covered by a thin layer of ice, and it was really really thin, and the ice sparkled in the sun. We have no good photo of the magic, I suppose it doesn't go on camera. I could never find the place after that one time, but when the time is right I'll go there again, and find it.

      Both the crystal quartz and the cone I picked up somewhere up those mountains. And then there's the nail. It's a lucky one, well, at least it must be lucky to be here and valued! I've got no actual idea of how it came into my possession, but it's unusually big, and somehow I found it in my pocket or my shoe one day in school. This was back the last year, on Krono.

      The bean is from a country I haven't been in -- Great Britain. It's a gift from Annie, and is for me a symbol of how different friendship can be. On one side, there's a smiling face, and on the other side there's the text Best Friends.

      Next is the stone, a beautiful one, from Linnèa. She brought some stones with her from France this summer, and gave some of them to me. It stands for patience, peace, and a smiling friendship! Don't think I have to say more.. Then there's one thing left -- the leaf. It doesn't have a story yet, and it doesn't really stick with the rest of the stuff, because it isn't a memory. It's the present, been picked up here in Linköping. What story it will bring to my collection, I do not know. But I'm sure it's going to be a story worthwhile.

Never Forget & Always Remember

Fucking random

A place with villas, and a park in a 20x20m format, a really cozy place! Sitting there in the middle of everything with not a person to see and still not isolated... Like one with the sky. I was well into my astronomy enjoying myself to a hundred percent when it started to rain. It was a quiet and nice rain, and I moved so I sat under a tree - not getting wet but still in the rain. Amazing feeling!

   When I was done, I took my bike and biked home the fastest that I could, standing up all the way & feeling the raindrops splash against me, everyone turning around and looking after the girl biking in the rain, wet, with the biggest smile on her face! Wonderful.

   I've realized that my life has been, and still is, totally wonderful and a lot more exciting than many others! Of course, the world is what you make it to, but I have some amazing people in my life that help me make mine worthwhile thousands times in repeat! It strange when you realize...most people don't have that.

   Have to say a word about when days are hard and when everything is against you: don't give up. Of course, one has to do something about it, but still remember -- there is a sun behind the clouds, a land way over the rainbow. 

   And when people... destroy our worlds - there will come new people who will build up them again, someone who you least expected it to be! A friend of mine said something today that I have to share... In high school, more then in any other place, contacts and friendship develop in any point of time. They might come up from a person you've hardly ever talked to.

Love you itsumo

Maria

Rain

It's pourin' down down down, pourin' down

Really, it's just raining. In a fun way though, kind of ironic.. Don't mean to complain but I was on my way home from school, and when I, in my t-shirt on my bike, was outside the library it began to rain. And it was cold. Brrrrh! So now I'm in my leo-onepiece, drinking chamomile-tea, listening to music with the window open to max letting the wonderful smell of rain in... Hah, know what? I've got nothing to write here! So this is must be for now, ciao!

AHAHAHAHAHA

Ha ha ha ha.. mornin'! Yesterday I had a really soft day, going around in pajamas to three o'clock and then changing to some clothes that for me are just like pajamas XD I didn't do anything special, some homework, some talking on the phone, cleaned my room, went out to the station with mom and watched a movie. It was a really nice day! Though I kind of miss mother already. It's one thing when she's like gone for two days, or even a week, but here she's gonna leave every week. 

The movie I watched was Yes Man & gosh, Jim Carrey really reminds me of someone ha ha!

Now I'm eating breakfast and drinking tea and soon I'm in a hurry so I don't have time to write anything more, this was just kind of a random update without so much in it, hah!

Don't ever forget to laugh & have fun! & like someone else once said:

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.  ~Jean Houston

Just Like You Want To

Being the one you want to be, having what you want to have and knowing everything you want to know is not enough. Living is.

Are you living like you want to live?

Live For The Moment

Live for the moment, or moments, & then you'll live for eternity - cuz a moment in it's own is a fraction of forever.


Just a piece of truth, from your watermelon-eater Maria!

No matter what

I won't lie. Today was shit. On my way home form school I was like: "What the fuck Maria, you're not like that!? You are absolutely talk-active, never quiet and take contact with folks." Well, I did have contact with people... but as you know I don't really like the girls in my class. The boys are really great but do you want to know a secret? I didn't talk to any boy today. Not even one. & it was all my fault. Oh shit. From a, ehm, perspective today was a good day. But fuck we live now, right? So -- that shit was earlier today and now it's totally over. Definitely.
To get happy again took a dozen of wonderful songs and an ice-cream, although I wasn't unhappy when I was in school... maybe that's why I never did anything about it. I was quite satisfied with the situation. But hell, stop worrying, that was before, now is now and now is absolutely great! ha ha (L)
If I have any plans for monday? Well, I had. One my way home, when I was all sad and so. Now I don't. It's all about living now so hell with monday. Today is friday and friday I'm in love! Gosh I miss you guys..
See you 9/11 though! Now I'm off partying - the party of life! Good luck to you all with everything and have fun & be happy no matter what cuz we're forever together

Later

I'm sorry. It wasn't bad, not if you look at it the right way! I mean, it's all about ''you loving everybody and everybody loving you''. Haha, I change my mind all the time... But don't think I'm just laying on my bed and thinking of how this day was, watching the movie in slow motion - because I'm not. I just realize some things from time to time, you know?

Love 

TRUTH - days when you find out what life's really about

Stop holdin' on to the past
So we can bask in the rays
Let the days of the new love last
Because...
Love is a beautiful thing
That brings together people of every generation
Love can heal the pain of a broken world
It's got to start with us
And all it takes is love




Just love everyone, make their life worthwhile. Love can bring it all together, just love people. They are worth it. Trust me.
& you know, just have fucking fun!

--Maria

...I feel it in my fingers,
I feel it in my toes
Love is all around me
& so the feeling grows...
...so if you really love me
Come on & let it show...


Yesterday the rain spoiled away all the problems, today it's still rather rainy, but it's a good day. A new day. A wonderful day! ha ha ha yeaaah!

Maria

To figure out what you want is a challenge in itself

"Life is something that happens to you when you try to make your way through.''

I'm not a girl who's conscience is easily shaken. To make me regret, and remorse, something... you need a good lot. I'm almost never ashamed of myself. But at times, I make mistakes that I regret, and that I'm ashamed of. Like now... Still, if I had to live it through once more I'd make the same decision. I will simply have to make it up to the people that I, ehm, didn't hurt anyone, but you know, made their lives a little bit harder to live? I've got some decisions to make for myself. So I'm kind of...taking a day off. If I don't I'll just mess everything up.


Hey hey ho, here we go! It''s like rise n' shine, the sun has come - even though it hasn't, the sky is like a creamy white and not at all sunny. Well, it hasn't really come to my world either. But things are clearing up. I've made some decisions, and figured out some stuff that I actually knew before. Like what to do with a person who's not really a good one.. It's logic, you have to help him. Harder is when you know that in a group of two, with you and another special person, you're the one that's wrong. But still, it's all like walking on broken glass. You've got to be honest and honorable and really want to know the other person. Try your hardest to be good, and fight with your worst sides. Forever. Itsumo.

Underneath the summer sun

The sky has changed from a light light blue color to a milky, sunny one, and then back once more. It's warm and cuddly ha ha! I am really tired and spend my time doing more or less nothing. But hey, it's summer!

Just Dance For Your Life & Live For The Moments

Friday with a fantastic - cold - rain and a rather lame festival with the best three people in the whole world who made it all worthwhile fifty times through. Things are what you make of them! & I'm gonna take things in my own hands, count on that!
Shopping on saturday all day long, some walks through the city and the most fun grill ever! Two marvelous nights that have made the time that's been bad disappear and I can see the blue sky once more, even better then before! Now I'm off to help my family fixing for party - wedding day it is! ha ha
See you later guys!

2012

The Maya-indians and Nostradamus say it's going to happen, so if you choose to believe, the world is coming to an end next year. But doesn't everyone have a world of it's own, and when you die...the world comes to an end? Don't worlds come to an end all the time?

It's amazing how much you actually miss people when the times are hard. Still, you have to trust yourself and make your life amazing - because it's only you who can make your life amazing!

I'm off now, ciao!

Always Stay Cool

I must admit it. Standing there, not knowing where to go and how to behave - the nervousness took me in it's grip. The thoughts that I use to have in my grip...they were just NOT AVAILABLE. And no, it was certainly not horrible. It was nice, there where some folks who are great, I learned to know rather many and I do like my class! You know, ''there are friends everywhere'', and I suppose it really is true. Of course, at times I made a fool of myself ha ha but not much, and that's however not the point. The point is that I had a good time, or at least I know I will have a good time with those people - today I had a good time sometimes, you know? I wasn't like, happy, forgot to relax really. To take it easy, you know... On the other hand I was myself and it was all nice and the people where lovely and it turned out really good. Note: Cool down & don't forget to be happy! 

        Alright, enough of talk about me, there are more interesting things to talk about ha ha! Today is a rather grey day, but I haven't been out much at all. But you know, even things that can seem sad or boring, like a grey sky or a rainy day... It has it's beauty. Just give it a chance! 

       & an advice for people who whisper when someone is sleeping, and they try not to wake the person... Don't whisper. A whisper wakes someone up, but if you whisper, no one will hear what you're saying, just that you're saying something. Instead, talk in a low voice!

       That was a rather random note, ha ha! However, I'm heading out now, haven't really got anything to say today, so...

                        ...ciao!

It's like a story, you have to be ready to die to ever be able to live

It's dark already, the cat sleeping as sweet as ever, the voices coming from the kitchen fading. Darkness is beautiful, and mysterious even if you know exactly what is hiding behind it! Today, I went on a trip with my family to Vadstena, we went around, saw interesting things and then had a wonderful picnic & some grilling!
Tomorrow's my first day of high school... And no, I'm certainly not nervous. Everybody seems to be more nervous then I am. I'm curious, and somewhat hopeful - but not really caring, it's just another part of the adventure of life.

Life's an adventure

Hey, what a special day it’s been.. At some point, the sky has been clear, but mostly it’s been rather cloudy - with clouds both light and holding rain! But it never dropped down. It’s been a warm day, almost hot. And I wonder, how come the sky and the weather has such a big impact on our lives.

       I’ve tried to keep outside today, partly suceeding partly failing. It has been a good day, but not one of those simple ones. A day where you’d love to take back some things you’ve said, and are glad that you’ve said others. 

How do you know if you’re doing the right thing? If you’re right when pushing at one point, instead of letting it be as someone else wants it. But you have to try, and trust yourself. A strange thing someone told me, is that although you ought not to speak of how you feel about people - because those who should know, they know anyway, and those who shouldn’t never find out - it’s smart to give people arguments of why to like someone that you like... To show them something of what you see, of your world.

       But whatever, whenever and however things turn out - never forget to smile, because a smile can..make it all worthwhile when you have to wait for the sun to come out again, for a better time.

I suppose I should tell you why this blog is called SkylightGypsy... As you probably have guessed, I love the sky. And not only love it & think it’s beautiful, but also treasure it as something true. Because in your own world, you see the sky just the way your world is. It’s like an expression of time itself, of now. It’s always changing, too. And I travel with the skylight, just like a gypsy ha ha! But seriously, my world is changing with the speed of the sky, forever & always. It’s kind of a strange thought, and sort of messy, but well well!

Love, sunshine, an airplane and lightlight blue sky!

Maria